It’s often been said that, “Hind sight is 20/20”, or “Things look a lot different in the Rear View Mirror” or even “If only I had known….”. I guess I can buy that on some basic level. If truth be told, we can all think back on some of our experiences and apply these thoughts or principles. Lord knows there are some mistakes I made in the past that “if only I had known” I would not have made them.
When I teach my class of first-time Drug Offenders, I show them videos with real people telling their real stories of addiction. Inevitably, the folks on camera say things like, “If I had known [the drug] would have made me drop out of school…”; “If I had known it would make me sell my body and live in Crack Houses…”; “If I had known it would make me steal money from my mother’s purse…..I would have never done it the first time”. I get it. Really I do. But, do I believe it? Naaaahhhhh
My true belief is that there is NO substitute for Experience. Mickey Howard, one of my all time favorites, says it best in her song, Love Under New Management. The song starts with the lyrics; “Experience is a good teacher…”. She goes on to say how she learned from the mistakes she made loving someone who didn’t love her back. But now, she’s in love in a whole new way; under new management. Maybe experience is the BEST teacher.
No matter how many times a parent tells their toddler the stove is hot, they don’t understand the concept until they touch it and feel the temperature on their tiny little fingers. No matter how many times you tell a teenager that unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy and fatal STDs, they don’t really get it until they are parents and/or infected. No matter how many times you tell a college student they need to explore part-time employment opportunities related to their field of study, they don’t get it until they graduate with a resume’ incongruent with their career aspirations and jobless. No matter how many times a person hears how bad or dangerous a thing is, the ultimate decision is their own. The truth of the matter is, all those mistakes or experiences help to shape who we become. Were it not for the mistakes or bad decisions some of our parents and forefathers made, some of us wouldn’t even be here.
More information about the dangers of a particular thing does not guarantee a positive outcome but listening to this information can help. After all, most of the students in my classes had D.A.R.E. in elementary school or participated in other preventive programming at some point. Would things be different if they really believed the information they were presented? My guess is that they did believe it. They just had to experience it for themselves. At best educators, parents, caregivers, families, friends, etc. are simply planting seeds in hopes that something “grows”.
In this season of graduations, I am reminded of all the different advice I received from parents, teachers, friends, etc. and think about how much of it I really listened to. I think about how many graduating high school, college and even elementary school students have heard a lot of advice over the years. My greatest hope is that some of the seeds planted will grow. However, the ultimate direction of a person’s life is driven by the decisions they make; good or bad. Our experiences shape who we are, who we’ve been and who we will become. Now sing it for us Mickey: “Experience is a good teacher……..”
In contemplating all these things I have decided to recommit myself to listening more. I’m committed to making better decisions in life. I’m committing myself to learning from past decisions and mistakes; mine and other folks’. I’m making a decision to living LIFE UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.
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