Since the age of 28, Mother’s Day Weekend has always been a time of indifference for me. It has been that way since that fateful day in July when the most important lady in my life, Earla Mae Hankins Parker, moved from labor to reward. Some years are better than others. Sometimes I can hang out with friends, family, mothers and others. Sometimes I stay inside, watch reruns of sitcoms and pretend the day is nothing special. RARELY do I attend church on Mother’s Day. I learned how sad it was for folks whose mothers have passed when, as a child, I saw my father and my grandmother weep like a babies during service. His mother passed when he was around 3 years old and her mother passed when she was an adult. It was sad for me to see them so sad even though my mother was alive and present. I vowed to never go to church on Mother’s Day, “if something ever happens to Mama”.
This year I began my decent upon the Mother’s Day weekend with my usual angst. I entered my office on Thursday not really feeling the buzz in the air anticipating the big weekend. Minutes after arriving, I was informed that one of my coworkers had just gotten the news that his mother had a massive heart attack and died. What?? This guy adores his mother! We had a conversation about his family and his mother less than a month ago and I could tell how close he was to her. I couldn’t believe it! It really shut my Pity Party down! No invitations will be sent out, no special meal will be served, no avoiding the world; still no church--- I’m not that good yet. I realized I am so blessed to have, and have had, so many people in my life who call me their son- and mean it! Although my biological mother is not physically present, I have another mother who provides me with things I thought I’d never have again after Mama passed.
My stepmother ‘stepped into’ my life long before she earned the title of Stepmother. She was my Typing teacher in high school (yeah, they called it “Typing” back then). It’s funny how I would pick at her and tell her she didn’t faze me with her fussing and tough attitude because I had somebody just like her at home. We got along just fine as teacher and student. She was one of my favorite. I never would have thought that well into adulthood, after I turned 30 years old, she’d be the woman to provide the matriarchal duties to my family.
I must admit it was somewhat strange the first few years. Not because I had any feelings about her being with my dad. It was just strange seeing someone other than Mama with him. We all had to work through our awkwardness to get to the place we are today but she has taken every step of “step motherhood” with care, caution and most importantly LOVE. Not only has she been the helpmeet we read of between Genesis and Revelations, she has been a source of wisdom, guidance and support for all 7 of Mama and Daddy’s children, all 16 of their grandchildren and all 9 ½ of their great-grandchildren. And she does this while being the matriarch for her biological family whose number I can’t begin to take a stab at. What a woman!
Although she’s sometimes misunderstood by some members of our family and her biological family—everybody can’t appreciate a strong woman—she maintains the position God has placed her in and never waivers in her faith in God and what he has entrusted to her. Her hair has changed colors since I first met her, her movements are not as fast and various aches and pains inhibit her activities BUT she still gives everything she has to take excellent care of my Daddy. If that was the only thing she did, I still couldn’t thank her enough. She’s one in a million.
So, on this sometimes dreaded holiday weekend, I honor my “Other Mother”. A woman who’s love for family and community and who’s faith in God lights up her environment. Happy Mother’s day Carolyn Victoria Berkley Parker! You are loved more than you know!!
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